If you look back, it is easy to see that over the last 50-75 years, people have gone from dressing up to failing to dress at all. This came to my attention during extended stays at hotels offering free breakfast over the past couple of years. How do you feel about the decline in public dress standards?
When I was growing up, and when my children were growing up, if we had a free breakfast at a hotel, everyone got up, showered, and dressed for the day before we left our hotel room. That was expected, and everyone in the breakfast area was also appropriately clothed. Now I know that on occasion you will see families in restaurants with a toddler still in their pajamas. Children under about five years old look cute in their jammies. Beyond that, it is time to put on clothing.
Over the past several years, I have noticed an increasing number of teens and adults shopping and dining in pajamas. It is obvious from the fabric and patterns on the sleep pants and T-shirts. In my opinion, they should exercise more care in their personal appearance. Some may think they are showing confidence in going out undressed, but in my opinion, it is pure laziness.
The lack of care for a person’s appearance becomes even more obvious if you look back at photos of people shopping and vacationing in the 1950s and each decade thereafter. My mother told me that when she was growing up (1958 high school graduate), they always “dressed” to go to town. While she may have worn slacks at home, she was expected to wear a dress when shopping or going into town for any other activity.
Here’s a just-for-fun quick look at some of the fashion trends from the 1950s to the 2020s:
As you review each decade thereafter, the clothing became more and more casual. Slacks were more widely accepted in the 1960s. However, people still dressed fashionably, with appropriate clothing, shoes, hair done, and makeup applied. When I, a 1978 high school graduate, was bar-hopping in my late teens (the legal drinking age was 18 for me), we would always dress nicely before going out. That meant a dress, hose, and heels before hitting the dance floor. Now, when you walk into a bar, everyone, male and female, is in jeans or shorts and casual tops.
The constant downgrading of our appearance became blatantly obvious when spending time in a hotel breakfast room. When free breakfast is available from approximately 6:00 am to 9:00-9:30 am, why can’t adults and older children put on their clothes? Not only do I see dozens of children in pajamas daily, but adults as well. Women in their mid-20s to 30s wearing either nightwear or lingerie, women in their late 40s to 60s wearing button-front, shirt-style pajamas, and a variety of long-legged pajama pants and sleep T-shirts are available. We’ve even seen one woman appear regularly for breakfast in her nightgown, her hair full of curlers.
There are a variety of reasons for this type of over-the-top casual attire in a hotel breakfast room. Many people don’t take the time to dress appropriately because they see the hotel as an extension of their private space…the equivalent of entering their kitchen at home to grab a bite to eat. They would rather roll out of bed at the last minute and rush to grab food while it is still available than take the time to look presentable. This has become a bad habit for many because there is generally no enforced dress code at hotel continental breakfast settings. That doesn’t make it appropriate and, in general, reflects poorly on the type of person you are.
Think about this: You enter a room and see three groups of people. One group consists of smartly dressed men and women; another group is in neat, clean, casual attire; and the third group is in scrungy jeans, baggy pants, wrinkled t-shirts, or pajamas. What is your immediate impression of each group of people? You will likely consider the smartly dressed people to be successful, educated, and affluent. The group in casual attire is likely to be considered gainfully employed, successful, and well-educated. What is your opinion of the third group? There is a good chance you may consider them to be in low-paying jobs, lazy, and less well-mannered. While each of these assumptions may be accurate or inaccurate, appearances do impact first impressions. First impressions impact how people treat you.
Key factors that influence another person’s perception of you include:
1) Clothing choice: Well-fitted, appropriate attire indicates high status and professionalism
2) Grooming habits: neat clothing, clean hair, and clean nails suggest a person with self-discipline
3) Posture and stance: A person who stands tall conveys confidence and a capacity for leadership
4) Facial expressions: A person with a genuine smile is perceived as having a warm personality and being approachable
While how you appear to others in a hotel breakfast room may not be important, once you develop a habit of not considering your appearance, it extends to other areas of your life. How important are first impressions? The first impression acts as a mental anchor for all future interactions you have with that person. An initial bias that develops during a first encounter requires significant time to overcome. How people treat you is based on their first impression, as they have formed a perception of how you will likely behave.
Albert Mehrabian, a social psychologist, has determined that 55% of a person’s first impression is based on appearance, 38% on the way the person sounds, and only 7% on what they say. To present a positive image, it is imperative that you pay attention to the message you intend to convey, both verbally and nonverbally.
Dressing for public appearances has shifted from past norms to the current trend of ultra-casual attire, in part because busy lifestyles have led people to prioritize functionality and ease over fashion. While this has likely benefited our lifestyles overall, some people have pushed beyond acceptable into being sloppy/lazy. If you are not getting the reactions you would like from others, consider whether your grooming and dressing habits may need adjustment.
How do you feel about the current dressing and lack-of-dressing trends? Leave me your thoughts below.































































ul way to kick-back and relax while seeing exotic places. I would like to get back to Hawaii someday, and I’ve heard the Caribbean and/or other tropical islands are wonderful places to vacation. I think it would be neat to travel in Europe, possibly visiting some or all of the countries of my heritage, those being Belgium, Germany, Poland, and Netherlands. Others of interest are Ireland, Italy, Iceland, Greece, and Switzerland…and I’m sure there are more. Of course there is always the possibility of a photo trip to Africa, or maybe Galapagos Islands. The possibilities are endless.
In looking at my investments I also took a good look at my living expenses v. income and realized that while I am making my bills with the assistance of my husband’s life insurance, I can not really consider that “living in the green.” Let’s face it, the life insurance savings won’t last forever, and living month-to-month is not the way I want to spend my retirement. I also realized that I can not retire and continue to live where I am at. The decision, I need to downsize. Now there is a lot of stuff in this house that I must sort, decide what to keep, what to toss, and what to sell. That will take some time. I would like to be out in six months, a year is more realistic, and it may take beyond that. However the longer it takes the more money I am spending on this house that I could be saving or using for more fun things.



Murphy’s Law #8: It has been a crazy couple of weeks at work. Friday was like a triple Monday. Throughout the week things had come up that took priority and pushed other things back. I ended the week feeling burned out and more buried then when the week began.
If you have been a reader for a while you know that my husband, Ron, passed away December 7, 2015 and since that time I have been adjusting to living on my own. In reflecting on myself now, plans for the future and introspection of the past I have learned a few things.
Although I never paid attention to our finances and had no interest in knowing about them, I am perfectly capable of paying bills, applying for mortgage modifications, listing property for sale, and making decisions on financial assets. I’m not blindly doing what Ron told me to do as he was dying. I’m evaluating my own circumstances and making a decision that I feel comfortable with. My goal for the future is to learn how the stock market and investments work, to understand how to diversify and what everything means so I can make informed choices. Hopefully I will get a grasp on this within the next decade. I’m really walking in uncharted territory here.
What I have discovered is that it wasn’t the cooking I disliked, it was that Ron always had a criticism of some sort and tended to hover, questioning why I did things the way I did, telling me I should do things differently than I did. Nothing was ever quite good enough, there was always a “why didn’t you…” Basically, he thought I should cook just like him. After a while I tired of the negativity and simply walked away and left it to him. He cooked, I cleaned up, and it worked.


So which is the proper vacation? They both are. A vacation should be whatever you want it to be. Do what makes the days fun-filled and relaxing for you and your travel companions. People are unique and everyone has their own set of needs. What is good for you may drive me bonkers; what is right for me may leave you feeling stressed and exhausted.