Last week I went to a surgeon for a consultation on my ankle. For those of you who don’t know, six years ago I was riding my motorcycle and was broadsided by a car. Due to injuries from that accident my left leg is titanium from the hip ball down through the ankle, with the exception of the knee.
A couple years ago my ankle, which has two plates and several screws in it, developed degenerative arthritis as a result of the impact of the accident. I was told then that surgery was in my future, when it got to the point where pain was affecting my quality of life. That point arrived this spring and has gotten progressively worse over the summer. When you are forgoing about 75-85% of what you would normally due because of the pain and swelling, it is time to take action.
The good news is that 95% of the people who have an ankle fusion done, once healed, never have pain again. The process is done as outpatient surgery. The bad news, the surgery is done under a local anesthetic for which I will be numbed only from the knee down and away during the entire process. Not good! I’m a chicken!
Following the surgery there is a twelve (12) week non-weight bearing period of recovery. I am certainly not looking forward to that time, as I will be dependent on people to drive me everywhere, and I will be living in a colonial home alone. Prior to the surgery I will need to make sure everything I need is moved to the first floor of the home where I can access it. I lived like that before after the accident, but I had my husband to help me at that time.
When you hear out-patient, the mind tells you it can’t possibly be as bad as you think. Well, think again. When I commented that I could probably go back to work in a day or two the nurse practitioner said no, I will be in a lot of pain that first week. Well isn’t that an encouraging thought to someone who is already extremely nervous about the entire process.
That evening I sat in my house contemplating the process and the fact that I would be alone. I looked around and thought sleeping on a couch, learning to wash my hair at the kitchen sink, fix my own meals, maneuver to do laundry, carry things, and get dressed, all while popping pain pills and with a cast on my ankle on which I can not put any pressure at all.
I panicked. I called my sister-in-law and she has agreed to come down and stay with me those first few days while I get adjusted. A second bonus, if for some reason she is unable to come, my best friend who lives in North Carolina has volunteered to drive up and stay with me. I feel much better having someone here while I am learning to hobble around and figure out how to do things one-legged.
So, am I nervous? No, I’m terrified, but I will get through this. What other choice to I have? I have decided that surgery when you are the subject of a trauma and unconscious is much easier to handle then contemplating and analyzing prior to a planned procedure. Unfortunately I have a lot of time to contemplate as the procedure isn’t scheduled until the middle of November. Maybe I’ll relax and get used to the idea. Who am I fooling, that isn’t likely to handle, but one must think positive.
In trying to clean things out and prepare for a yard sale this weekend when walking through my home it is difficult to determine if things are better or worse then they were a week, month, or year ago. I’m in that messy time when things appear worse even though they are getting better.
I’m bringing things up from the basement and pricing them for garage sale, then stacking the boxes under a table in my TV room. I am preparing to put a desk into the garage sale and bring a different desk into it’s spot. To do that I had to empty out other furniture and items in the landing and the scrapbooking room itself to allow space for the exchange to take place.
Now on the other side of the coin, we all know people we have made the effort to maintain contact with and yet the responses are not forthcoming or we get excuses of “I was going to write/call/respond but have been busy.” I can understand that from time to time, but when the lack of response become repetitive you have to wonder where you fall on their list of friendship priorities. Somewhere you have to draw the line and decide you are moving on and if they want to be a part of your life they will notice your disappearance and seek you out. If they don’t you haven’t lost anything. 
I have applied and received a mortgage modification, learned to pay bills, met with our financial advisor, gathered tax information for our CPA, handled an IRS audit, closed our joint account and opened my own account for handling of stocks. I have contacted numerous accounts and had things such as cell phone, internet, cable, vehicle insurance, utilities, and vehicle loans changed into my name. I have handled contacting service people such as a plumber for a leaky toilet, car maintenance, and the hot tub store for an uncompleted repair that began when Ron was alive. I will be calling to have someone out to repair my air conditioning that stopped working. I have learned to run the riding lawnmower, how to put gas into it and how to use a jumper box to jump it if necessary. I discovered our weed wacker was too heavy and difficult for me to start and operate, so I selected and ordered one that was more suited to my abilities. I have listed property and vehicles for sale. I have made decisions on how to juggle money and make payments on time. I have grown throughout this process.
Have we really done those children a favor? I don’t believe so. If a child never learns that sometimes life isn’t fair, that sometimes you win and sometimes you loose and that is okay, how can they learn to cope with the realities of life when they become an adult. They don’t. I think that is why we have so much violence, so many underachievers. They never learned to push for the top. It has been handed to them every step of the way.
So which is the proper vacation? They both are. A vacation should be whatever you want it to be. Do what makes the days fun-filled and relaxing for you and your travel companions. People are unique and everyone has their own set of needs. What is good for you may drive me bonkers; what is right for me may leave you feeling stressed and exhausted.
Anyone who has spent time with young children will agree. They are energetic, exhausting, non-stop movement, and most of all entertaining. They will fill your world with knowledge you didn’t know was out there and if nothing else will bring a smile to your face. In my case this week it was two of my grandchildren that filled the bill.
After they were dropped off Corbin immediately informed me that he brought Sissy with him so he would have someone to play with. I guess “play with” is objectionable as he seemed to spend an equal amount of time complaining about her, and i don’t think he ever played with her. Alexandria did tear apart the train track, steal the train signs, steel hot wheels cars, drink all of Corbin’s water, and more.
For the most part Corbin takes it all in stride. After all, he knows how she came to be in his life. You see Alexandria was growing in mommy’s tummy and a doctor had to cut her out because it wasn’t good. When mommy ate Sissy took all the food. Now I must say that is pretty good logic coming from the mind of a five year old. Besides, I’m sure there are a lot of pregnant women out there who feel like the baby is taking all their food when they eat.
As I mentioned, Alexandria tore apart the railroad track and Corbin wasn’t able to get it back together. That was never my area of expertise, my husband Ron always handled it, but since he passed in December it is one of those duties that now falls to me. I worked my way behind the table to the spot where three pieces of track were separated. As I was working I kept hearing a dinging noise, until Corbin said “you’re pushing on the RR Crossing sign.” I wondered where the sound was coming from!
And so our morning went, flying by quickly as it goes. I did take a look at Corbin’s hands and told him he needed to go wash them. Corbin’s response “No, maybe on Thursday.” When I told him they needed to be clean for school Corbin responded that he isn’t going to school, he has to stay with me for forty-five days. Yep, that was his plan and he never even told me. Isn’t it nice to know there is a plan in place should the need arrive?
Even with all those accomplishments there was still inequality. Equal pay for equal work was not achieved in 1980. Women still held was were termed “pink collar” jobs, meaning they still held the lesser level and lower paying jobs of secretary an clerk. Women earned 57% of men’s wages; women with four years of college earn less than a man with an 8th grade education.
