Life spins and churns, twists and turns, and in the process dreams are born, moments cherished, and desire becomes reality. Such is the case with a friend of mine who after spending more than twenty years widowed and single married the man of her dreams.
Wedding wishes, preparation, anticipation, and anxiety all come into play when anyone gets married. We are used to watching young people plan big, elaborate weddings, and there is excitement in that type of a “production.” This was different. It was two adults with children and grandchildren planning a small, simple, elopement with tidbits of details that added to the fun and uniqueness of this blending of their lives.
Planning to have an outdoor wedding in Michigan during the month of April is always gutsy. They decided they wanted to get married on the covered bridge in Frankenmuth, a popular location that is a unique, small town atmosphere and also a popular tourist destination. Being that it was two hours from home they needed to search and find a pastor to perform the service. They checked on use of the covered bridge, booked a motel and made arrangements for early check-in, arranged for a second witness, and made plans for photo locations.
Then a week before the date the couple held their breath when snow crept over the state. All was not lost. The day of the wedding was warm and sunny, comfortable for the bride in her sleeveless dress, a bit warm for the groom in his suit. A perfect day, perfect weather.
Vicki held to tradition. The morning of the wedding I received a text message asking if I had something she could borrow. She had the something old, something new, and something blue. She wore a bracelet that belonged to me for her something borrowed. I attended the event and served as witness/matron of honor and photographer.
I met Mark and Vicki at their motel and after Mark dressed and I had taken a couple shots of Vicki helping him with his tie, he left to meet us at the bridge. I helped Vicki with her dress, we took a few preparation shots, and I was shown a gift she had purchased for her new husband. It was fun, girly, and relaxing all at the same time. We arrived on location to find Mark chatting with the pastor and her husband.
Photos by Grace Grogan, copyright 2016
Vicki had been worried about finding an appropriate dress, but she did and made the purchase. Then after reflection decided there was nothing wrong with her purchase, but it lacked the pizazz that one wants for their wedding day. She kept looking and ended up with a lady-like, age appropriate, knock-him-off-his-feet dress. How do I know, because I was walking with them and Mark looked over at Vicki and said “you look good, you look really good!” He was right, she did.
Rather than use the bridge, which was dark and cool, for their ceremony they opted to stand near the water overlooking the bridge. Prior to vows the groom, who is in a band, sang to the bride. Vows were spoken, rings exchanged, and of course the traditional kiss. The marriage license was signed, then they posed for a few photographs before we went to lunch.
Fried Ice Cream Deluxe – Yum! Photo by Grace Grogan, copyright 2016
When in Frankenmuth the tradition is to go for chicken dinner. Traditions are made to be broken, and when you have a small elopement instead of a over-the-top wedding, plans can be adjusted on a moments notice. How many brides and grooms do you know who have their wedding dinner in a tiny Mexican restaurant? Well I know one, and it was great. They were even presented with a huge, free fried ice cream because it was their special day.
After lunch we shot a few more photographs and then the happy couple went for a horse-drawn carriage ride around town. The end of a perfect day leading into a perfect night, and the beginning of a perfect union of marriage.
Their first adventure as husband and wife. Photo by Grace Grogan, copyright 2016
Saturday my daughter helped me run around and pick up all the food and beverages needed for the Celebration of Life on Sunday, March 6, 2016. The Celebration was a well attended event, busy. Lots of people I knew, lots of people I didn’t know. Ron touched many lives. It was a happy event, good memories. We chose to leave the memory jar and guest book there for any people that visit the exhibit while it remains hanging. I look forward to going through that jar and reading the memories. I know I have many thank you notes to write. However those are just simple steps.
Ron had a saying, “Change Equals Growth.” As people view the slide show I have put together I hope they see the many changes, the growth that has taken place in Ron’s life. Changes in his camera, clothing, hair length, and hobbies all captured with the wonderful art of photography.
But what is happiness? Happiness is created when a person has a deep sense of meaning and purpose in life. A persons satisfaction with their life, how they feel on a day-to-day basis affects their ability to feel happy. It is difficult for someone who does not struggle with the overall feeling of happiness to understand how others can lack a feeling of contentment that comes with being happy.
I also decided that rather than have New Year’s Resolutions I am going to have monthly goals. I will re-set my goals each month, and they can be repeating goals or things that are new. What this does is provides short-term focus, mini accomplishments and the ability to re-evaluate the goals on a monthly basis to assist with motivation. 
Holly didn’t question my thought process so much as ask me questions that steered me into making a better decision. She asked me, in my opinion, on a scale of 1-10 how much I thought Ron’s condition had worsened since I had checked him in 24 hours earlier. I said about a 6. Holly then looked at me and asked if I was sure I wanted to go home that night, and was I sure I wanted to be at work, because two minutes could make the difference in being there or not being there when he passed. I made the decision to stay and my sister-in-law, Cathy, said she would stay with me.
It was only minutes. I told Ron that it was okay, I would be okay. Ron took two more breaths with a wide space between and was gone. When I realized he was not going to take any more breaths I hit the nurses call button. When they heard me crying over the intercom one of them came in and rubbed my back as I lay there crying. It was so close they tried to catch Caroline in the parking lot but couldn’t.
So now we turn the page. It has been only two days since Ron passed. I am learning how to come home to an empty house. To move through my days without him here. I am adjusting, slowly.
As a child we would travel “up north,” which meant to grandma and grandpa’s house in Traverse City. The men (my dad, uncles, adult cousins) would go deer hunting and then come in from hunting for the meal. The women did the preparations which included turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and of course pumpkin pie. I remember my grandmother also having mincemeat pie. I tried it as a child, hated it and have never been able to bring myself to try it again. I don’t even know what is in it, I don’t like the appearance and I remember hating the taste.
My Thanksgiving meal differs from that of my childhood or those prepared by my mother-in-law. I don’t have a regimented menu. I mix it up a bit from year to year. I don’t do everything from scratch. My pies are generally purchased pre-made, my rolls are sometimes from a mix, sometimes brown and serve. This year my three main side dishes are being prepared in a triple crock pot to keep it simple.
The estate sale was Wednesday and Thursday this week. It was rainy, windy, and cold, but the street was a busy flow of cars and people were making purchases. Everything was under control when I arrived to see how things were going.
I did go back to the house later and again the next day and did not re-experience that initial emotional hit. The sale is now over. We sold a ton but have lots of things left. Now we have to figure out how to get rid of as much as possible. Life is never dull….Life is a Melting Pot!
