Tag Archives: socializing

Cherishing Front Porches: Memories and Connections

When was the last time you sat on the front porch of your home, waving at your neighbors as they passed by, or inviting them up to chat and share a glass of lemonade? 

I have always loved front porches, the big kind that holds several chairs. When I lived in St Clair, Michigan, I rarely sat on my private patio in the back. I preferred the front porch, where I often sat reading a book until it got dark. I was not in a neighborhood, but on a state highway, so I only had cars buzzing by.

My love of sitting on the front porch is something I developed as a toddler. Back then, my grandmother was my babysitter. I remember sitting on the porch at various times of the day, watching the birds in the yard, migrant workers across the street playing, and watching the sun set. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Hmm, wonder where I learned that?

The world made more sense when folks waved from the porch instead of arguing with strangers online.

As a teenager, my best friend in high school lived in a large, older home with a large front porch. I loved that porch! We would sit on it talking with friends, shouting out to cute guys that drove by, and just enjoying life. The house I grew up in only had a small stoop. I envied April, living in a home with a large porch that looked out over the street.

I no longer have a front porch. I always intend to sit outside on my lawn chair, and those times when I make it out there, I enjoy sitting in the fresh air and reading a book. I don’t get out as often as I want; life gets in the way, even in retirement. I, like many others, spend a good deal of time on social media, sharing trivial quotes, travel, pictures, news articles, and day-to-day activities with distant friends and family. I participate in public forums, where political discussions can turn hostile. People have lost the etiquette exercised during face-to-face conversations. It is so much easier to be insulting and rude when done through an electronic device.

That image takes me back to another time, when life was more relaxed and friendly. Kids played outside; they rang their friends’ doorbells to see if they could come out, rather than having scheduled play dates arranged and monitored by their parents. There were neighborhood block parties, where everyone got together, brought a dish to pass, and adults enjoyed socializing while the kids played. You knew your neighbors, and your neighbors knew you, and everyone got along. In my opinion, it was a better time.

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Filed under backyard, communication, Family, friendship, home, kids, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, Michigan, parents, play, summer, time

Remember The Good Ole Days When People Talked To Each Other?

Have you ever looked around at people when out in public?  Have you considered your own conduct when socializing with others?  What about the way you make and maintain friendships?  We have become a society in which a large portion of our social interactions are electronically based.

I think there is both a positive and a negative to this development.  Social media…blogs, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, Google+, Stumble On, etc. are all great places for exchanging information and keeping in touch with others.  Social media is especially helpful in allowing families to stay in touch when they reside in various spots around the country and/or world.  I spend a fair  amount of time on Facebook and Pinterest so I am not at all opposed to it, but I do have some concerns.social-interaction-pay-attention-on-twitter

People are losing the ability and/or willingness to deal with people on a personal level.  They are unable to tuck their cell phones away and simply have a meal or conversation without repeatedly checking their phone.  Not because they are receiving phone calls, but because they are viewing their media feed, texting, posting articles, or other such activities.

I will admit to on occasion doing the “check-in” post letting my friends know where I am at and/or what I am doing.  Pictures of meals, selfies of people and who they are dining with have become common place.  People don’t sit at a table and converse with each other, they sit across from each other, each on their phones a/k/a social media.

social-media-strap-phone-to-foreheadA couple years ago my husband and I were in a restaurant that was quite busy and we had to wait for our table.  I was looking around the restaurant and I  mentioned to him that he and I looked very out of place.  The reason being we were the only two people in the entire restaurant, both the dining and bar areas, who were not on our phones.  We were talking to each other instead!  That is sad….people are losing the human connection.

It has gone so far that some restaurants have pads attached to the tables for games, order placing, paying bills, etc.  No human interaction.  What kind of message is this sending to our youth, and what will the overall affect be on society?

There is nothing on social media that cannot wait.  If your family really needs to reach you they will call.  The jokes, posts, news articles, photographs, and more that are posted on a regular basis do not have to be reviewed every ten minutes, thirty minutes, or hour.  If you miss a few the world is not going to come to a screeching halt.  Heck, people have become so self-absorbed they probably won’t even realize you are missing.

So what should you do instead?  Take a break.  Go to dinner, have a conversation, go for a walk, and don’t check your phone and/or post for at least an hour or two.  At first it may seem difficult, depending on how much of an addict you are.  However I would be willing to bet that you will find it refreshing and strive for more unconnected periods of time.  You may end up like me, wondering why people can’t just step away at least a few hours a day.  social-interaction-human-more-important

Look at it this way.  Life is meant to be experienced live, not through the power of electronics.

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Filed under communication, Discoveries, exploration, freindship, friends, friendship, habit, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, mind