Tag Archives: reading

I’m a Bookaholic

I’ll admit, I’m a bookaholic—a person with a deep love for reading and an insatiable desire to buy and collect books, or both. There are various other terms for people with this obsession, depending on how far they take it. For instance, a bibliophile loves physical books, viewing them as objects, while a lectiophile’s affection is for the act of reading in any form, be it books, magazines, blogs, etc. Tsundoku is a Japanese term for people who habitually buy books but never read them.

My book collection is not as extensive as it used to be, and that includes both read and unread volumes. When I lived in my house, I had tubs of read books I didn’t want to part with stored in my basement. In my bedroom there was a 7-foot bookshelf, double- and triple-stacked with unread books, and still I purchased more.

When I sold my house to live and travel full-time in a 35-foot motor home, I was forced to reduce my collection. It was a long, painful day of sorting and re-sorting until I reduced my collection down to fit into a plastic tub that would hold what I had room for. I laid out all the unread books on my bed and sorted them into two piles, the ones I could part with, the ones I wanted to keep. The “keep” pile didn’t fit into the plastic tub. I then took my “keep” pile and sorted it again into keep and part-with piles. I repeated this process about four times, each more painful than the prior one, before they finally fit into the plastic tub. Believe me, it was packed tight, filling every little space to get as many in as possible. 

Most of the books that didn’t make it into the plastic tub, went into my estate sale. Most of the tubs in my basement went into the estate, sale, but some books I gave to my kids. There were many good books, copies with author signatures, the complete works of Mark Twain, Poor Richard’s Almanacs, the original, hard cover set of The Chronicles of Narnia, all of the hardcover Children’s Book of the Month Club books from when my children were growing up, and more. I gave my son his favorite childhood book, Home for a Bunny, falling apart from continuous use.

 Now I own a park model, which is only 406 square feet of living space, so my storage options  are still tight. The RV Park where it is located has a free book exchange, and there are a lot of readers in the park. I regularly contribute books I’ve read and pick up books I haven’t read. My constant accumulation doesn’t stop there; I have a habit of buying books whenever I travel. My  newest obsession is visiting used bookstores, so I doubt I will ever run out of reading material.

Image shows the author's bookshelves inside their park model home. This provides a visual confirmation on the limited space they have for storage.
The bookshelves in my park model. The top right is almost empty because that is where I place the books as I finish reading them. When the shelf is full, I determine what to keep and put those into a tub in my shed, then donate the rest. The refilling of the shelf with read books begins again.

I recently stumbled across an article titled The Benefits of Buying Books You’ll Probably Never Read. I never purchase a book without the intent of reading it, but I know that I may not read it immediately, or a year from now, or five years from now. I sometimes own books that are 10+ years old before I read them.  Why? The topic is of interest to me, but I may not be in the mood to read it immediately. I like to “shop” my bookshelf to see what catches my eye as a read-now topic when selecting my next book. Remember that tub I brought from my home in 2019? Most of those books are still in it because I had an additional 15-20 books I brought and placed inside the RV for easy access, plus I purchase additional books every year during my summer travels. I periodically pull a few out of that plastic tub, but who knows when I’ll get through them all.

As I said above, I’m a bookaholic—a person with a deep love for reading and an insatiable desire to buy or collect books, or both. Because of my limited space, I no longer go to extremes —in my opinion — but others may dispute that. I consider myself a bookaholic who reads many but saves few. That said, the article about the benefits of buying books you’ll probably never read piqued my curiosity. This is especially true since I always thought it would be awesome to own a huge mansion with a designated library filled with books, along with a writing desk and comfy chairs near a fireplace for reading. I know —it’s a big dream for someone who has downsized into a small home.

I do love bookstores and museums, historical spots, and tourist attractions with book sections in their gift shops. Purchasing anywhere from 10 to 25 books while traveling is not unusual. Where do I fall mentally for this practice?

The Japanese Tsundoku practice has evolved to take on a positive connotation, with the act of surrounding yourself with books seen as a good thing. It indicates you have a fruitful relationship with knowledge and signals your need or desire for continuous discoveries and learning. Once I learned I’m mentally in good shape due to my book-buying habit, I decided to roam a bit further into this topic.

According to Psychology Today, the number and types of books you read can reveal insights into your intelligence, self-control, ambition, time management, and overall outlook on life. The article references a 2014 study published in Child Development that found that stronger early reading skills may predict higher verbal and nonverbal intelligence later.

A 2018 Pew Research Center study found that 67% of adults in the United States read an average of 12 books a year. Intelligent, highly successful adults are usually avid readers and far exceed the average. This is supported by the reading practice of well-known business people, such as Bill Gates, who reads about 50 books per year, and Elon Musk, who read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica by age nine and science fiction for over 10 hours a day as a child. Billionaire Warren Buffett spends an average of five to six hours per day reading. While the article only sighted successful men, I decided to delve into the female side of this.

Oprah Winfrey (mid-2025 ranked number one on Forbes list of America’s Richest Women Celebrities and number four on Forbes World’s Billionaires list) was reading by the time she was three and, like many top businesspeople, follows the 5-hour rule. This means reading at least one hour a day, or five hours a week.  Taylor Swift (ranked number nine on Forbes  World’s Celebrity Millionaires List 2025) is an avid reader and supporter of literacy and libraries. She was only 24-years old (she is now 35) when she partnered with Scholastic Books to make book donations to libraries in her hometown of Reading, Pennsylvania and current residence of Nashville, Tennessee.  Francoise Bettencourt Meyers is a French entrepreneur, philanthropist, writer, billionaire heiress, the second richest woman in the world. She is also an avid reader and the author of several books and is known for being a reclusive intellectual who spends her time at home reading and playing the piano.

While I haven’t yet achieved millionaire status (one can hope), my reading level usually meets the 5-hour rule. If things go according to plan, I have 1-1/2 to 2 hours of reading time every morning before Paul (my partner) gets up and turns on the TV, interrupting my quiet time. Depending on my schedule, I sometimes spend an hour or two outside reading in the afternoon, and a trip to the laundry mat gets me about two hours of reading time. If I’m alone for any meals throughout the day, I read while eating.

Painted on the brick of an old 4-story warehouse is the name John K. King Used and Rare Books Michigan's Largest.
Painted on the brick of an old 4-story warehouse building in Detroit, Michigan, is the name of the J. K. King Used and Rare Books, Michigan’s Largest. This is the largest used bookstore in the state, and well worth the visit.

For several years, I have kept a list of the books I read during the year. At the end of each year, I print the list and place it in the “All About Me” notebook I keep. The total number of books I read in a year range from 6 to 26. I’m going to beat that this year, as I’m already working on book 26 with two months of reading to go. Yippee! I love breaking my own record.

According to the Psychology Today article, I am an optimist. I don’t view my unread books as a burden or failure of self-control and time management. I see them as a future opportunity to engage with their content. I primarily read non-fiction, so most of my reading is a learning experience. I do blend a few pieces of fiction into the mix for fun. While I have more books than I could read in a year, collecting them is not compulsive hoarding, nor is it damaging to my social interactions.

With few exceptions, I now donate the majority of books I have read rather than keeping them, due to space limitations. I enjoy visiting used bookstores, where you can buy books at much lower prices. I maintain my membership with Barnes & Noble, though, because sometimes I have to purchase and read a new release. The Psychology Today article suggested slowing down the rate of acquisition and becoming more selective, not purchasing a new book until you’ve read one of a similar size. I don’t think that’s possible. I can’t wrap my head around such a ridiculous limitation.

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Filed under decisions, Discoveries, education, exploration, Full-Time RV, habit, hobbies, home, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, Michigan, summer, time, travel

What Makes a Reader?

A recent conversation with three children ages seven, eight, and 16 made me wonder what makes some people like reading when others don’t. I used to think it was parental influence, but that doesn’t hold true because kids from the same family can have different preferences.

I considered whether children who struggled in school with the language arts became non-readers and those who grasped those subjects easily became avid readers. That also isn’t true. I know people who were strong language arts students but are non-readers and people who struggled in school but enjoy reading.  

With no scientific studies to support or deny my theory, I decided it must be related to a person’s desire to escape reality—readers of fiction and fantasy or a thirst for knowledge—non-fiction and historical readers. Some memorial readers have compassion for learning about the struggles and accomplishments of others. 

In coming to this theory, I looked mainly at my reading habits and then considered those of others. I realized that what a person absorbs from reading impacts how they think, sometimes for a lifetime.

We read books to find out who we are. What other people, real or imaginary, do and thin and feel...is an essential guide to our understanding of what we ourselves are and may become.  Ursula K. LeGuin

The Pew Research Center interviewed people who had read a book in the prior 12-month period. Their interviews revealed that 26% enjoy learning, gaining knowledge, and discovering information. The pleasure of escaping reality and becoming immersed in another world was the reason 15% gave.

Other reasons, in lesser amounts, include relaxation, the variety of topics they can find, spiritual enrichment, the mental challenge of reading, and the physical properties of a book—the feel and smell. I can relate to the last one because I like the look and feel of a book in my hands rather than reading on a device.

The Pew Research findings are comparable to my theory. An article on ReadingWise, What Impact Can Reading Have on Personality? comports with my view that reading books can impact personality. People, especially children, gather life experiences through the books they select. They learn about other cultures, personalities, social classes, gender, etc. This learning can make them more empathetic toward people who are different from them.

Not only does reading impact the child, teen, or young adult’s personality and social skills, but it can also influence what they select as their career, activities they participate in as an adult, and how they view home life. Some books I read as a child, teen, and young adult influenced the genres I read now, what is important to me as an adult, some career choices, and how I view some controversial topics.

Nancy Drew Mysteries by Carolyn Keene were written for female readers between the third and sixth grades. As a child, I read this series, borrowing from the local library and devouring several a week. As an 18-year-old teen detective in the 1930s, Nancy’s ability to sleuth out the answer to different occurrences at a time when women didn’t hold careers in such “dangerous” situations was intriguing. Her independence and bravery probably inspired many females to surpass the gender-expected roles.

I enjoyed reading these books, trying to figure out the mystery along with Nancy, and it created in me a lifetime love of mysteries and crime stories. It also inspired my love of conducting research.

Making a tremendous impact on my viewpoint regarding abortion is My Darling, My Hamburger by Paul Zindel. Published in 1969, the young adult novel covers four teenage friends, romance, the decision to engage in sex, contraception, loneliness, and communication. When Liz becomes pregnant, her boyfriend speaks to his father and then gives her $300 to get what at that time was called a back-door abortion. Abortions were illegal, so the medical care was less than pristine, with procedures done on the sly. This often led to complications or death.

In the book, Liz starts bleeding profusely during the car ride home from her abortion. The entire scenario impacts not only the girl who endured this horrific illegal abortion but also destroyed the friendship group.

Reading this book as a young teen impacted my viewpoint on abortion for life. As an adult, I have always been pro-life but also pro-choice. I believe that a person, especially under circumstances such as sexual abuse of a child or an adult rape, deserves the right to decide whether to abort during the first trimester of the pregnancy.

The only thing that has changed in my mind over time is due to advancements in medical technology. I do not condone aborting a pregnancy when the child can sustain life outside the womb.

True Crime and/or True Detective magazines were in our home, belonging to my parents. As a child, I loved devouring these magazines full of true crime stories. While they were probably not the best reading material for someone so young, they influenced my preference for true crime and legal books.

Agatha Christie is a well-known mystery writer, and as I outgrew the Nancy Drew books, books by this author became a favorite selection. During this same time, I also enjoyed Alfred Hitchcock’s writingsI primarily read fiction during my early-mid teen years, and these were my primary focus.

Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad is a title I remember ordering from Scholastic and reading in elementary school. This non-fiction book influenced my future love of non-fiction and interest in reading about the oppression of enslaved people and blacks.

Black Like Me is a non-fiction/memoir written in 1961 by journalist John Howard Griffin. Griffin, a white man, had his skin temporarily darkened and traveled to the Deep South to learn what it was like to live under the terms of segregation. It was amazing how he was treated very differently when living as a black man vs. how he was treated after allowing his skin to lighten and was again regarded as white. It is a real eye-opener on how badly people judge others based on the color of their skin.

Sybil was published in 1973, and I read it around age 13 following its release. This is the true story of a female being treated for dissociative identity disorder. Sybil had 16 separate personalities, likely developed as a coping mechanism due to severe physical and sexual abuse by her parents. This book influenced my opposition to child abuse, and in high school, I did a term paper on abuse.

F. Lee Bailey wrote The Defense Never Rests in 1971, and I read it as a young teen shortly after publication. F. Lee Bailey was a well-known criminal defense attorney, representing clients such as Albert DeSalvo (the Boston Strangler) and Patty Hearst. In the book, he discusses many of the cases he defended. This book impacted my interest in the law and helping criminal defendants.  

It is not enough to simply teach children to read; we have to give them something worth reading. Something that will stretch their imaginations - that will help them make sense of their own lives and encourage them to reach out toward people whose lives are quite different from their own.  Katherine Paterson.

There are many others, but these immediately came to mind when I thought about books from my youth. Those I remember after over fifty years most likely influenced my outlook on life. What is their impact on my life?

I was a community opinion columnist for The Times Herald in Port Huron for several years, expressing my opinion on controversial issues. I am currently working on a book about CPS taking my granddaughters and adopting them out to strangers rather than my husband and me. I have given testimony before legislative committees regarding the problems with the Michigan sex offender registry, and I went back to school in my 50s and became a paralegal. I am now considering becoming a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), which means advocating for children who are in foster care.

My reading is almost 100% memoir and non-fiction. I live and travel full-time in an RV and buy books from the areas I visit. Learning about the history of places I visit is enjoyable.

What do you read? Did what you read as a child and teen influence your life choices? Share your thoughts below.

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Filed under assumptions, career, children, decisions, Discoveries, education, exploration, impressions, Life is a Melting Pot

20 Facts About Me

I was in a fog and not sure what to write about, when I stumbled across something that was titled “20 Facts About Me.”  Now most of you don’t know me, so this will serve as a quick introduction to who I am.  If you do know me,  you may find some surprises here.   I’m just going to list random things as they come to mind.  Here goes nothing:

  1. I was born September 23rd, which means if you follow astrology I am a Libra and I fit the personality criteria.
  2. I have lived most of my life in unique places:
    a.  Born in Traverse City, Michigan — the Cherry Capitol of the World
    b.  Lived in Iron Mountain, Michigan, which has one of the highest artificially
    created ski jumps in the world.
    d.  From the time I was 6 until just before my 21st birthday I lived in Eaton
    Rapids, Michigan — the only Eaton Rapids on Earth and also once famous for
    its mineral springs.
    e.  I now live in St. Clair, Michigan, which has the longest fresh water boardwalk
    in the world and is located on the St. Clair River, one of the busiest shipping
    channels in the world.
  3. When I was a child I wanted to be an actress/movie star, a veterinarian, and a writer.
  4. I work full time as a paralegal, plus I am a photographer and a writer.
  5. I have never learned my multiplication tables.
  6. I hate personal confrontation but like to stir up controversy in my writing.
  7. I write a genealogy column for The Lakeshore Guardian and am an occasional opinion columnist for the Port Huron Times Herald.
  8. My favorite writer as a child was Nancy Drew, and as a teen I enjoyed reading Agatha Christie and Alfred Hitchcock.
  9. I now read a variety of genres, but primarily non-fiction.
  10. My favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla.
  11. I was married for 34 years and widowed at age 55.
  12. I was once an avid collector of Precious Moments figurines.
  13. I am a scrapbooker.
  14. I am the mother of two (son and daughter) and have a total of six grandchildren, but unfortunately only have contact with three of them.
  15. I am writing a book about our families involvement with CPS and my husband and my battle with them when attempting to adopt two of our grandchildren.
  16. I love to travel and hope to do more once I reach retirement.
  17. I have a tendancy to become emotionally attached to possessions.
  18. For the past 37 years I have slept on, and still sleep on, a free-flow water bed.
  19. My house is filled with items my deceased husband picked up when going through people’s trash looking for metal scrap.
  20. I have a large collection of bookmarks, most of them obtained for free.

So those are my 20 items.  Nothing too off the wall or bizarre.  Just simple little things that reveal who I am.   What I learned from this, is that coming up with 20 things to list about myself was more difficult than I anticipated.  I’m sure once I post this more exciting, fun things will come to mind.  That is just how life goes.

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Filed under assumptions, communication, Discoveries, habit, hobbies, impressions, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, reality, Writing

Childhood Cravings

I was grocery shopping recently and had a craving for a childhood snack — graham crackers with frosting on them.  I purchased the box of crackers and grabbed what I thought was standard chocolate frosting.  Imagine my delight when I popped open that little container and discovered chocolate mint — double yum!

That got me to thinking about some of the simple things from my childhood that kids today don’t have the opportunity to experience.   Back when I was a child life was more simple.  Summer was spent playing outside.  There weren’t any arranged play-dates set up by parents, we weren’t in day care centers, and our parents did not have us participating in scheduled activities.  childhood - chinese jump rope

We got up in the morning and walked or rode our bike to a friend’s house, rang the doorbell and asked if they could come out and play.  When was the last time a child did that?  Today’s children probably wouldn’t know how.   We didn’t have video games, cell phones, ipads, or any of the other technology that kids today rely on.  So what did we do with our time?  We had fun!

A field behind the house could be trampled down into “rooms” in which we could roll out our baby carriages and play house.  We would lay on our backs and look at the clouds, making determinations on what they looked like.  We played Ring-Around-The-Rosie, Duck-Duck-Goose, Mother May I, Red Rover Red Rover, Tag, Kick-the-Can, and hide-and-go-seek.

We only had three TV channels, and cartoons were a Saturday morning specialty.  Every kid sat in front of the TV watching their favorites.  Between Saturdays we had our comic books to read.   My girlfriend and I would put our comic books into the saddle baskets of our bikes, then read our comic books as we rode our bikes down the street no-handed….and we weren’t even wearing helmets!

childhood - jacksWe would sit on the porch playing jacks.  At one time I was able to handle pick-ups of 20 jacks at a time.  We played a lot.  Do kids play jacks anymore?  Are they even available to purchase?  Ours were tiny metal jacks with a small red ball.    What about hula hoops and pogo sticks?  With a swing of the hips your hula hoop could be forced up to the neck or down to the knees and back to the waste.  Regular jump rope, Chinese jump rope, and hop scotch kept us busy.

I lived in a small town.  We would ride our bikes downtown and go to the library and the dime store.  I did a lot of reading.  Nancy Drew was my favorite, and so was Alfred Hitchcock and Agatha Christie as I got older.   We bought pop in glass bottles out of a vending machine.  Everyone chewed Bazooka bubble gum, and we all loved the little tiny comics that came inside.  Gum wrappers were used to make chains…what we did with those chains I don’t remember.

We looked for 4-leaf clovers.  Flower petals were pulled off one-by-one saying “he loves me, he loves me not.”  Dandelions were held under the chin to see if your chin shone yellow, but I don’t remember why.  If we found a dandelion gone to seed, a “wisher,” we were thrilled….but our father wasn’t if he saw us blowing those seeds out into the lawn.

childhood - pogo stickBack then most people did not have air conditioning.  Windows were open, fans were used.  One strong childhood summer memory does not involve me but my father.  He would mow the lawn and then afterward watch the ball game on TV.  One of my favorite scents and sounds of summer is the combination of fresh mowed grass and a baseball ball game on the TV or radio.

What are some of your childhood memories?  No matter how old or young you are, if you are an adult I am sure things have changed since your childhood.   Do you have childhood cravings?  Do you wish your children and/or grandchildren could experience life as it once was, not as it is now?

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Filed under Activities, backyard, children, Discoveries, environmental, exploration, Family, flowers, freindship, friends, friendship, home, kids, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, play, reality, summer, time

Kicking 2014 Goodbye

While I can’t say its been a horrible year, because there have been some good things, I am ready to kick 2014 to the curb.

Grogan Gravesite.  Copyright 2014 Grace Grogan

Grogan Gravesite. Copyright 2014 Grace Grogan

My father-in-law passed away at the age of 94 on February 11, 2014 and my father passed away at the age of 75 on December 3, 2014.  While my father-in-law at the age of 94 should not come as a surprise, my father at only 75 was a shock.  My sister and I had not yet completed going through my mother’s things (she passed in May 2013) and now have an entire house to contend with.

Although it has not been finalized, we found out that rather than letting us adopt our biological granddaughter she is going to be given to total strangers for adoption. Her younger sister, who we also wanted to adopt, was awarded to her foster care parents for adoption in 2013.    The frustration dealing with DHS and realizing that this is an ongoing problem across the country is what inspired me to write a book about our situation.

Kiley Grogan's photo posted on MARE.org

Kiley Grogan’s photo posted on MARE.org

My ankle, which was severely injured in an accident 4-1/2 years ago, has continued to deteriorate. I was told in September 2013 that I have degenerative arthritis from the accident and will eventually need an ankle fusion. The condition has gotten considerably worse in the past year and I fear the operation will bee needed sooner rather than farther in the distance.

My husband, Ron, began having difficulty swallowing in June/July and by September was a true problem. It was discovered he had a tumor almost completely blocking his esophagus and the tumor was cancerous. He has undergone radiation and chemotherap and has lost about 60 lbs due to his inability to swallow more than thin liquids/broth.  He will have surgery on the 6th of January to remove his esophagus and his stomach will be lifted/stretched up to take its place.

Walking from the boat dock to the lodge.  Photo by Grace Grogan

Walking from the boat dock to the lodge. Photo by Grace Grogan

In the midst of all this chaos we also had some good things. My sister, two of our cousins and I got together for a girls weekend, which we did on an uninhabited island and had a great time. We had traveled together while growing up and then had not spent much time together since becoming adults, so over 34 years.  It was during the burial of my mother in 2013 that the four of us decided to revive our vacation get-togethers.  Spending time with just the four of us on an uninhabited island for two nights was fun.  We had a great time and are in the process of planning another outing this year.

A gathering for the purpose of a memorial service for my in-laws resulted in a min-reunion of my husband’s family.  That lead to plans for another family gathering/reunion in August of this year.  It was great that so many family members who reside in other states were able to make the memorial and plan to attend the reunion again this year.

My husband and I took our motor home out for 11 days, with the first stop being the memorial service for my in-laws, and the next stop being Iron Mountain in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.    From there we took day trips to various counties across the UP with the main objective being to photograph waterfalls.  We also took in a few other sights an spent two days visiting with our son who is located on the west side of the UP.

Bond Falls.  Photo by Grace Grogan

Bond Falls. Photo by Grace Grogan

My husband and I have continued to build our photography business an have had several good sales this year.   We celebrated our good year by purchasing each of us new Nikon D750 Cameras for Christmas and are looking forward to a photography filled year.  We also have a great new photo subject, our newest granchild, Alexandria, born on December 12th.

Alexandria's first Christmas - only 12 days old on December 24th.

Alexandria’s first Christmas – only 12 days old on December 24th.

This was the year I  took a more intense dive into my writing. I started working on a book about my husband’s and my battle with DHS trying to adopt our granddaughters. I continued in my position as newsletter editor of our local genealogy club’s newspaper, write a genealogy column for a local paper, plus took on the one-year position of being an opinion columnist for another local paper. I also began this blog, keeping it to a manageable one post per week, although I have on occasion thrown in an extra. I have found all these writing projects enjoyable. The more I write, the more I want to write.

So what are the plans for 2015?  We all make resolutions every year and then falter and don’t accomplish them.  I’m not making resolutions this year.    I’m going to set goals and strategies to accomplish my New Years Goals — in my mind that has a more positive ring it than a resolution.  I have not mapped out the specifics or broken it down into manageable segments yet, but the overall goals are going to be weight reduction, organization, cleaning and scheduling to get it all accomplished.  Wish me luck, because I’m probably going to attempt the impossible, once again.

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Filed under events, habit, home, Life is a Melting Pot, Photography

Power of Emotion

This past weekend I underwent a task that was both emotionally satisfying and upsetting.  As I experienced emotional swings I wondered what it is that causes people to experience different emotions for similar activities, or why one person will ride a roller coaster of emotion over the course of time related to only one activity.  What is it that caused me to swing from happy to crying in a split second just by reviewing the photos that were the subject of my project.  Emotion can break people down or build you up.  With me it does both.  There was emotional satisfaction in creating a Shutterfly book of a grandaughter torn from our family by CPS.  My husband and I were stripped our of our relationship with her by DHS and the adoption agency who refused to allow us contact during the time she was in foster care and even after parental rights were terminated and we applied to adopt.  That lack of contact was then used against us in the adoption process and the foster care parents were awarded the consent to adopt rather than us.    There were times when the process of creating the book was emotionally upsetting.  It is hard to understand the process and reasoning of destroying a family when there are biological relatives willing to take in a child and raise her as their own.

Emotions can tear you apart or they can heal.  The emotions that accompany the experience of losing Kae-Lee to another family have resulted in an emotional determination.  There are weak moments, such as during the creation of my photo book, but overall they have left me determined to do something to right a wrong that is done to families all across the country or at least let people know what is happening, that everyone is at risk.  That is the reason I have begun writing a book about our family’s experience in dealing with CPS, DHS and adoption.  Writing is a healing process. It gives me focus.  It allows me to analyze all that happened, to understand where the biological parents failed and where the system failed.  Neither is perfect.  However, the destruction of a family, the ripping of a child from its biological family and giving it to strangers rather than relatives is something I find extremely disturbing and difficult to accept.  Writing is my way of fighting back.  I want people to know what happened to us and that similar situations are happening to families throughout this country.  It isn’t right.  It isn’t fair.    That is how I deal with the emotional trauma of this situation.  Writing about what happened gives me focus and provides satisfaction in knowing that I have not sat back and let the situation swallow me emotionally.  I am stronger than that.

The Shutterfly book is an assortment of what little photographs we have of Kae-Lee from the time she was born in March 2010 through the termination in June 2012, and a few photos we were lucky to obtain taken by others in the year since the termination.  There will be no more.  We have no contact with the foster care family that adopted her.    When you are looking at photographs of a beautiful baby with her family and remember how she was torn from your life, it is an emotional roller coaster.  That Shutterfly book of photographs is the only thing we have left of her, plus the traditional newborn memorabilia that every parent saves and the yearly Christmas ornaments we have purchased for her.  Maybe someday she will come looking for her biological family and we can be reunited with her and share those items.

If you would like to view the book of photographs I created you can click this link:  Shutterfly Book.  I welcome everyone’s comments on this blog and/or the book.

 

0145 - Patrick and Kae-Lee-1

Patrick on Kae-Lee

Kae-Lee photo(20)

Kae-Lee – photo taken by foster care worker

Patrick and his girls - Kiley, Katlyn, Kae-Lee

Patrick and his girls – Kiley, Katlyn, Kae-Lee

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Filed under Family, Life is a Melting Pot, Scrapbooking, Uncategorized, Writing

LIFE IS A MELTING POT

I recently attended my first meeting of a Freelance Writers Group during which I learned that it is important for writers, especially those who write or plan to write books, to have a blog.  Anyone who knows me will tell you that when it comes to putting words on paper I do not have a problem.  However, the idea of writing a blog  was almost overwhelming.

When I see blogs they are generally topic specific.  Each posting is always on one general subject, but what should I write about?  I am a writer, newsletter editor, and am working on a book.  My husband and I have our own photography business, Times Gone By Photography, and spend a lot of time out shooting pictures.  I am a scrapbooker, enjoy reading, attend a wide variety of local events, enjoy traveling when I can, work full time in a law office, and am a mother and grandmother.  Which of those subjects should I choose?  That was my dilemma.

My life is a melting pot of various activities. Everyone’s life is a melting pot.  That is how I developed the theme, or title of my blog.  This blog is about  life and will cover all the various aspects of it.   The good, bad, serious, and funny.    Hopefully everyone finds something they can relate to in each post, because after all, Life Is a Melting Pot.

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